


Six Stages

by ruruie



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Depression, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm making my own endings now CDPR, can't stop me, it's soft johnny hours in this house, small prompts based on the five stages of grief and an extra step thrown in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruruie/pseuds/ruruie
Summary: How does anyone cope with their own, inevitable death? V certainly doesn't know how. Johnny doesn't either. But, she's gotta try, and Johnny knows it too.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Comments: 7
Kudos: 156





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> As the tag states, these are little prompts based on the five stages of grief and one extra step because I'm sappy. I don't fully believe in the stages of grief a linear thing, nor do I truly think grief can fit in a five step box, but that doesn't mean it's not inspirational. The last chapter is a post-ending thing where I fix it, because the game needs some ending fixes. Enjoy!

The first night was rough. The first nights were rough. For a whole week V was tortured with the idea that someone was living inside her, eating her alive. So she opted to just not accept it all. Ignore it at all costs. 

This allowed her some momentary freedom, really. Johnny was a real pain in the ass, but if she didn’t dwell on the fact that he would some day kill her, devour all that made her who she was, everything was fine. All he really did was pop in and out of her field of vision, offer some stupid fucking remark, and leave. Maybe he’d even just sit there, quietly, watching from a distance, saying nothing and caring for naught. 

And if he got too annoying, well, she could always take an Omegablocker. Pop it into her mouth just as easily as he popped into her head. The relic still malfunctioned, making her feel sick, but at least he wasn’t there all the time. Easy to be rid of. And she rolled with it, completing jobs, even getting in contact with Takemura, formulating a plan to rid herself of the chip. She even figured out what happened to Evelyn Parker, solving one mystery that might lead her down a path that will help her. Riding high on the feeling of success, sans Johnny. 

Out of sight, out of mind. 

Ideally, that’s how it should work, but every now and then he would be stubborn, coming in to talk to her at inopportune times. Like now, as she was trying so hard to forget her lot in life. A painful call that made her stumble.

“Wow, you’re real fucking depressed. Who the hell did you just call? Feel like putting a bullet in my skull, all because you called some old hag.” God she hated this fucking asshole. 

“Sorry, I don’t talk to figments of my imagination.” Hopefully that would be enough for him to drop it. Leave her be to sit there, ruminate on how badly she fucked up. In fact, if she tried hard enough, she might even pretend that everything in the past few weeks never happened. That she would wake up in the morning, Johnny free, getting a call from Jackie about some strange job. “In fact, because you’re not real, you should really fucking drop this conversation.” 

Johnny bobbed his head, in a similar way to a pigeon, tapping the back of the couch he was seated on. He always sat in strange ways, and this way was no exception. Legs spread wide, arms draped across the back, a king on a usurped throne. “Nah, not happening. Something real bad played out, and I was polite enough not to listen in. So, tell me, V, how badly did you fuck up?” 

“Dunno what you’re talking about. Nothing happened, and you’re not real. Bye-bye.” Reaching for the pill bottle, she fumbled with the lid, giving Johnny enough time to knock it from her grasp, tossing it across the floor. It was very similar to their first night together, minus the desire to get up and grab the pills. Mind over matter. She didn’t need pills to ignore him. 

“Hey, Johnny. Fuck you.” Crawling further inside herself, V pulled the covers of the bed over her, head and all, a small child hiding from a monster. 

“It wasn’t your fault, V.” Yes it was. What did he know? Sure, his voice was meant to sound comforting, but it was just a painful reminder of everything that had happened. “Whatever happened was gonna happen anyway. Can’t change that.” 

“Nothing. Happened.” She spat from behind clenched teeth, eyes closed in a way that made her look like she was in pain. She was in pain. 

But she didn’t want to admit that it was real. 

Who would want to face the reality that all in one day she killed her best friend, got a chip stuck in her brain, died, got thrown in a landfill, and then at the end of it all revived only to be told of her impending death? Nobody. And that’s why it didn’t happen. None of it did. 

Jackie would call her tomorrow. She’d tell him about her strange dream, the one where Johnny Silverhand was in her head, trying to comfort her over a nightmare she had the previous night. Normalcy was the name of the game, and she was winning. 

“God you’re more stubborn than I am! See if I had a fucking chip in my head I wouldn’t be spending my time lying there like a sad sack of shit, ignoring it. Because, you see V, I would be out there on the streets doing all I could to fucking figure this shit out!” 

She didn’t respond, she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. If he was fed up with her shit then he should just disappear. Leave her in peace like she deserved. What did she ever do to deserve this? A lot, probably, but this is something V wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy. A slow death that consumed the soul. 

But, it wasn’t happening to her. Jackie would call her tomorrow, and he’d laugh at her, saying she was the weirdest person he had ever met. 

“Cry all you want, but you’ll have to face the music. Trust me, everything comes full circle one way or another.” Hot tears were on her cheeks, but she didn’t register them. What did she have to cry about? Fucking nothing, that’s what. 

“Whatever, ignore me all you want.” The leather on her couch creaked, and she figured Johnny gave up and sat down. “Hide under the covers, but your mommy won’t save you. And I won’t either. Sit there and I’ll just take over, simple as that. Maybe I’ll even take over and get this shit over with.” 

“Thought you didn’t want to kill me?” Johnny laughed, and V curled into the fetal position under the warm blankets. She wanted to play it off as a joke, but she sounded like a scared puppy. And he laughed at her. Dick.

“I don’t want to kill the V that wants to live. This V? She would die right now if she could. Denial won’t get you far, sweetheart. That’s something I know well.” He seemed sad, almost, as he spoke about her. And maybe denial didn’t work for him, but it was working for her, right? 

No, it wasn’t. Sure, she got through the first week of this, ignoring the inevitable, but when she called Mama Welles, asked about Jackie, she lost it. Lost grip of what was keeping her grounded. It really didn’t get her far. Just got her back to the starting line. 

“Talk to me V. Who’d ya call?” 

Lip quivering, she steadied herself before she spoke. “I never told you about Jackie, did I?”

“Nah, never needed to. Big guy, right? His smile made you feel loved.” 

V nodded, trying not to cry again. “It did...I really loved him. Not like romantic love, though. He was...he was my family. And...I killed him. I should have...I...”

Johnny tapped the couch again, a familiar rhythm she heard on the radio once. “You didn’t kill him, quit being dramatic. Did you pull the trigger?” 

“What? No! But that doesn’t matter! I could have --” 

“Could’ve, should’ve, big fucking deal, V. You didn’t pull the trigger, you didn’t force him to take the job, and you didn’t let him die alone. Wanna know how terrifying that is? I see that memory of him play out in your fucking head over and over again, like a broken record. And every time I see it I think ‘good thing that kid had V there, because he didn’t die alone like I did’.” 

V sat still, processing what Johnny said. She spent all this time denying that everything had happened, that Johnny wasn’t there, that Jackie was alive, that she didn’t think about the fact that these things just...happened. This was her reality. Dealing with it was the only thing she could do. If not she really would rot there in her bed, from the inside out, allowing this asshole to override her body. 

What’s worse, he was right. Jackie didn’t die alone. And she hoped that he felt the same about her, like family, so that he was at least comforted in his passing. 

“Hey, Johnny.” 

“What?” 

“Bitch.” 

But she wasn’t going to let him win this time. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know he was actually helping her process her eventual death and the very real death of Jackie. Not today, probably not ever.

She wouldn’t shut him, though. Tomorrow she’d placed the pills on her nightstand, and probably not touch them unless absolutely necessary.


	2. Anger

Waiting for midnight the next day, giving Panam time to plan, seemed like an easy enough task. Hell, V should have been able to just sit on her ass, maybe even lie back on the shitty motel mattress, get some shut eye, and down a Kang Tao transport. Easy as pie. 

For those that have baked a pie, though, know well that phrase is a falsehood. 

Johnny was pacing around the room, elbows out and hands near his head, spinning in circles to turn around. Dealing with him was like having a restless pet, not knowing if they wanted in or out. It was clear he was agitated, V could feel it, but what he was angry about was an unknown variable. She had her theories, of course, him being less than pleased that Arasaka was even involved with the whole plan to begin with, and now they planned on getting the guy who invented the chip in on it too. Must feel like a spit to the face. That was only a theory, however, and Johnny seemed itching to talk about it. 

“Alright, you wanna fucking say something? Or are you just gonna walk around the look like you shit your pants?” V tapped her foot, sitting with her arms crossed, the arm chair in the room less than comfortable. 

“Oh, I’m sorry V, you feeling the anger? Well good! I don’t exactly agree to the plan, if that wasn’t obvious!” Johnny stopped to stare her down, throwing his sunglasses across the room, the image of them clipping through the wall and into the unknown. 

“Well ya seemed all hunky dory before! Even liked good ol’ Panam when we were riding in the car! What changed, huh? Or do you need a reason to get all pissy? Because as I see it you’ll take any and every opportunity to get mad and fuck shit up!” V’s foot tapped faster, her leg bouncing as she spoke. 

“Yeah, well, I figured I would be polite, as you fucking REQUESTED OF ME!” His pacing speed increased, fingers curling in and out of his palms, ready to throw hands if the opportunity provided. Maybe that was V’s influence. She was ready to go, sock him one good time. He damn well deserved it. 

“Ha! When were you ever god damn polite? Way I see it, you were just waiting until I was alone so we could hash it out. Chompin’ at the bit. Well you know what, let’s go!” Jumping up, V raised her fists. 

She was just so fucking mad at him. Always giving her lip. Always making her life harder. The relic was getting more and more painful, messing with her head too many times. And Johnny was becoming louder and louder, more and more real. The chip was integrating faster than she was comfortable with, and it was just pissing her off. 

Still hung up on the question of why this was happening to her, why she deserved this, it was eating her up faster than Johnny ever could. So what if they had to work with people they hated? V wasn’t thrilled about all of this either, but fuck, it was what she had to do. This whole situation, the Johnny problem, needed to be solved, and solved quickly. 

Johnny moved to get in her face, only to laugh at her. “Do it! You won’t hit me! Be angry all you damn want. You don’t know real anger! Don’t know real hatred!”

“Says you!” V closed the distance, headbutting him back, making him stumble. “I’m pissed as hell because I didn’t have a say in the matter. I stuck this god damn chip in my head so that I could get paid! And what do I get instead!? First a bullet in the brain and then you always making me feel so god damn, mother fucking pissed! All!” a fist slammed towards Johnny, missing, “The!” another swing, still no hits, “Fucking!” still a miss, “Time!” 

Finally, a hit. But it was just the wall, making her knuckles burn and sting. Johnny was elusive as ever, still laughing at her anguish. V screamed out, an angry scream that curdled the blood and made people worry for their safety. “I hate you Johnny! I hate you!” The shrill voice died out at the end, hoarse and rough. 

Dropping to her knees, she heard Johnny hock up spit, the saliva landing on cheek as he spit. “Don’t even have the heart to punch me one good time. Where’s the fire, V!? Newsflash, it’s not there! You’re just a little bitch, trying so damn hard to be tough!” Mocking her was probably the worst thing he could have at the moment, his spit trailing down towards her jaw. 

Another barbaric scream left her as she tackled him to the ground, knocking the wind from his lungs. Her body slammed on his, pinning him to the ground, hands gripping his shoulders to shake him. Even if he wasn’t real, she could still touch him, hit him, make him feel the pain she feels. Winding back her fist, she held it beside her face, ready to wipe the smirk from his face. 

Punching down, she hit the floor, missing his face on purpose. More screaming, and crumbled, pounding the floor next to Johnny’s face, allowing herself to feel for the first time in a while. Each fist hitting in the floor unleashed another emotion, shattering it until all she was left with was the dark realization of her condition. When she was finished, she let her forehead rest against Johnny’s chest, panting hard from the physical exhaustion. 

A cold hand rested on her back, and she actually felt calm for once. Oddly comforted. 

“Johnny...I’m sorry. I was just...I am...”

“Afraid?” V nodded, her hands moving from where her fists were still connected to the floor to under Johnny’s head, pulling him into a strange hug. 

“I don’t wanna die...” 

“Don’t blame you...Really sucks. And I didn’t even really die. Tell you a secret?” 

V laughed sadly, knowing full well what the secret was. She could feel it. And it was the same one she let slip moments ago. 

“Who the fuck am I gonna tell?”

“I don’t wanna die either.”

“Wanna hear a secret from me?” Johnny nodded, both arms holding her close. With their bodies connected, V swore she felt the faintest heart beat against her, and it made what she was about to reveal even more painful. 

“I don’t want you to die either, Johnny. I don’t think I’m angry at you...Or anyone...It’s just easier to...”

“Don’t worry, I get it. I repressed shit so much I blew up Arasaka Tower. Really wanna go there?” 

Sitting up, V patted his chest, shaking her head. “Nah, I don’t. Don’t really need to either. Forget this ever happened?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” His hand reached up and wiped the spit from V’s cheek, flicking it onto the floor. “And sorry for that. Reflex.” 

“Eh, no harm no foul,” legs sprung her up from where she was sitting, stretching before she plopped on the bed, “not the first time I’ve been spit on. Got a feelin’ it won’t be the last.” Sighing, she allowed her body to relax, her hands burning with the fire of her outburst. 

“Night, Johnny.”

“Night, V.”

“Don’t forget, this never happened.” 

Johnny chuckled, the sound of him hitting the arm chair she previously occupied made her smile, imagining the weird way he was sitting. 

“Never happened.”


	3. Bargaining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is suuuuuuuper corny, but I think it fits these two miscreants.

“Tell me somethin’ Johnny. If I found a way for both of us to live...Coexist in this fucked up world...Would ya want it?” 

The landscape of Night City was neon and bright. Nightfall in the city was nothing short of illuminating, and V thought that if she saw the stars again she’d be terrified. Dealing with the world outside of the city was not something she thought she could get accustomed to, but now...Now that she sat out in the desert, away from the city, helping Panam with yet another thing, she thinks the stars are much brighter than the city lights. 

Ghost town after ghost town, endless roads going nowhere. It was lonely. And she wonders how she even managed before, without someone there by her side. To hold her hand, to share her feelings with. There was relatively little work that had to be done, really. Johnny was always there. Feeling everything she did, even if it was delayed. And in turn she felt him, understood his state of being. 

Cold metal touched her skin as she reclined on top of the car, looking up at the sky. Johnny fell back as well, cigarette dangling from his mouth. Over time, V felt the urge to pick one up as well, but she wouldn’t let Johnny win that battle. Had to preserve something of herself. But, she didn’t have much else to willingly preserve. Lifting her arm, the tattoo that read “Johnny + V” made her smile. He was right. She did love it. 

“If you could do that, V, I’d fucking impressed. Doubt it could ever happen. Gotta think of...Of a life without me.”

“Or you gotta think of a life without me.”

Her heart sat heavy in her chest, thinking of having to sacrifice something, her life or his, both of which she had grown to find dear. Chip or no chip, she cared for Johnny, and killing him felt like killing herself. And killing herself felt like killing him. There were no winners, only losers, in this battle. 

“Johnny, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna find a way. I can’t lose you, man! You got a second chance at life! I got a second chance at life! Why waste it? We’ve been working towards some fucking end, why not let it be one where we’re both happy?” 

A futile effort, really. As far as she knew there was no happy ending in store for either of them. Even the stars above them die. Looking over at Johnny, she thought that a star was an appropriate analogy for him. Something that burned bright, seemingly living eternal. If, in the end, his personality was erased from her, she doubted she’d ever forget him, trying to talk to him even if he would never respond. 

“Like, shit! Coulda done more to help Jackie. Not lettin’ you go too.”

Johnny’s exhale was followed by the crushing of the cigarette, him turning to look V in the eye. “You’re real fucking hung up on that Jackie shit.” 

“And you’re not hung up over Alt?” Was it Johnny’s influence the reason that she couldn’t let things go? He was the king of holding onto things, never letting go, vice grip on all the things that pained him. V never questioned why he was a drugged out rocker, screaming into the microphone. Why he cheated Rogue, or left Kerry hanging. People in his life never close, just there. 

Except for V. 

“Shit, you hit so low below the belt, you know that? If it makes you feel any better, I don’t wanna let you go either.” A hand took her own, and V tangled their fingers together. 

“I know, told you didn’t wanna fuck up what we have. Couldn’t do that if you tried. You did try, didn’t really work, huh?” He laughed, turning back up to the stars. His side profile was so fucking handsome, V smiling involuntarily at the sight. He was beautiful. 

“Nah, certainly not with the way you’re lookin’ at me now. Gross.” V shoved him, but he didn’t move away from her. Instead he scooted closer, wiggling until they were play fighting like children, trying to push the other off the roof of the car. 

Eventually they calmed down, settling with V resting her head on his shoulder, his arm holding her close. Another cigarette was lit, and it hung from his lips. 

“I’m gonna do it Johnny, I promise. In the future, you’ll really be here.”

He hummed, content with his new chance. “Fine by me. Not afraid I won’t up and leave? I’m prone to doing that.” 

“You’re a changed man, remember?” It was a joke, and both of them knew it. 

“Riiiiight. Forgot.” 

The distant sound of vehicles signaled the arrival of Panam and her clan, off to do another job with them. The end of their heart to heart for the moment. Unlike with others, V wasn’t afraid that they’d never pick it up again. Neither could avoid it, really. Not a bad thing, but it didn’t feel all that right. 

But, fuck. V was determined to find a way to make sure that Johnny lived on. That she lived on. Looking at the sky again, she stood on the roof of the car. 

“I don’t fucking know what’s out there, or if you care to listen anymore, but I’ll fucking do it! Give me a chance and I’ll make it happen! Higher power, go fuck yourself! I’ll claw my way through you and all your shit ass minions if it means I’ll make it happen! I’ll live, Johnny’ll live!” Middle fingers up to the sky, she felt stupid and empowered all at the same time. 

She expected Johnny to laugh at her, call her an idiot for even trying, but he didn’t. Boots hit the ground beside her, Johnny also flipping off the sky. Why not smite the higher power above them? 

Got nothing to lose.


	4. Depression

Things weren’t working out. The situation was turning dire rapidly. V was deteriorating quick, waking up in the morning with blood on the pillow, her head feeling like mush. Looking in the mirror she didn’t recognize herself, a walking corpse and vessel for Johnny. 

She stopped sleeping. 

Every night she went home to her apartment, like she was supposed to, but she didn’t sleep. All she did was pretend to rest, lying in the dark, hoping to hell Johnny was going to be nice enough to let her sit there in her misery and not bother her. And for a while he did. She was sure he knew that she was awake, no way he didn’t, but some shred of kindness came to the surface and allowed him to be considerate. 

The catalyst for all of this was visiting Johnny’s unmarked grave. Body dumped in an oil field with nothing left behind. No marker. Nothing to remember him by or to honor him. He asked what she would put on his grave if it were real. She gave an answer, but she didn’t think it really fit. Wasn’t special enough for him.

Worse, it made her think of her own impending death. If she did die she didn’t see herself getting the primo treatment. If she removed Johnny likely her body would decay, unmarked, unloved. If she let Johnny take over then he would be the one running the show, people mourning him over her. Potentially lost to time. It hurt. 

And that hurt and pain kept her awake. 

She rolled through jobs, same charisma and charm, getting shit done in the most efficient way possible, but at night she was a wreck. She didn’t eat. Johnny didn’t force her to eat. She had just as much influence over him as he had her, and he was likely just as fucked up over this. So he let her be. 

He wasn’t buzzing around in her head much, either. He was materialized almost all the time, allowing her to talk to him if she wanted to. And she did...but she couldn’t. 

Hot water in the shower ran over her body, and she banged her sloshing head against the shower wall, trying to keep it together. She knew she couldn’t, but fuck. At least put on a show for Johnny. He didn’t deserve to see her waste away. Like the rest of the world decaying around him. 

Fuck it, might as well do something nice for him. Nobody will do it for her, may as well make the person who might inherit her body a little happy. Time to take action.

“Hey, Johnny. We’re going out.” 

He just shrugged, getting up from where he was seated, glitching closer to her. “Fine by me. Sure you don’t wanna sleep? Look like shit.” 

“Feel like it too. But, I got a surprise planned. Don’t snoop around in my head to find out what it is, alright?” V sounded tired, her voice raspy, but she didn’t care. She had a job to do, her own fixer now, and Johnny was the client, even if he didn’t know it. 

“Whatever, not real cozy in there right now anyway.” 

They left the apartment, V picking up a blow torch, spray paint, and other odds and ends. In the car, she fired up the GPS system, following its lines all the way to their destination. At some point, Johnny must have figured out where they were going, appearing in the front seat beside her. 

“Mind telling me why the fuck we’re coming out here? Not really like I wanna be back here.” The place itself was a touchy subject, and when they were here the first time he was in a somber mood for a while after. But V wanted to do this. Needed to do this. 

“Nope. Gonna have to trust me and find out. And if you spoil the surprise I’ll be real fucking pissed.” 

“Ha! Gonna grow some balls and fight me for real this time?” V smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a while. 

“Maybe. I’ll be pissed enough to.” 

Parking the car, she got out, fishing around in the trunk for her supplies. Kicking trash out of the way, she walked over to Johnny’s resting place, surveying the area. It was dark, only the headlights from the car illuminating the space, but that was more than enough. Picking up some sheet metal and bars, V welded them together in a piss poor manner, but did a good enough job to keep the sheet metal upright. With her spray paint, she did a shitty rendition of the Samurai logo, but she tried her best. Below it were the words “Johnny Silverhand.” 

A memorial to a man long thought dead. 

“Damn...V...I ain’t really a sentimental guy...but...shit...Thank you...” His sunglasses obscured his eyes, but tears pricked behind hers, and they sniffled at the same time. 

“Yeah, man. Of course. You were real torn up about it all...so. Yeah.” She cleared her throat, picking up another can of paint. Shaking it, she looked at her work, tapping her foot, thinking. 

“What? I get more? Fuck, V, what did I do to deserve this?” 

That was it. V realized what would go wonderfully on his tombstone. An epitaph to him. Working, she sprayed, trying her best to keep steady through the tears. 

“Johnny Silverhand. A man who inspires hope. The man who saved my life.” She read what she wrote, and turned to him. “That’s what you did to deserve this...I...I haven’t lost the will to keep fighting, Johnny. Even if you might think so sometimes. My body feels like it’s rotting, and I don’t really recognize myself much anymore. I get stuck in what feels like a reboot loop, where I keep thinking about how I didn’t deserve this. But I’m not gonna stop. I told you I’d find a way, right? Just...let me borrow some time...I didn’t deserve this, but fuck! Neither do you. So, I’m gonna keep on going. For you...” 

An arm slung around her shoulders, only her shadow appearing on the makeshift grave, Johnny’s silhouette nowhere to be seen. But he was there, holding her to him. 

“That enough, V? To keep you from giving up and dyin’ in your bed? To live...for me?” Voice strained, Johnny didn’t like the idea, V felt as much. But, right now, she couldn’t fathom living for herself. A shell of a person. Not when someone she cared about so much was getting a second shot at life. 

“Yeah, it is. Nothin’ left for me but death. Misty once said that sleep is like getting a taste of death...” 

“That why you won’t sleep?” 

“Maybe...” V wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him into a strange side hug. “But I think it’s more like I don’t wanna waste my time here. But I feel so fucked up about it I end up doing nothing. If I don’t have much time left, then I’ll give what I have to you...”

“Don’t talk like that, V. I can’t lose you...Remember what we talked about when we were here last?” 

“I think about it a lot...”

“Only relationship I haven’t fucked up. Not lettin’ that go that easily. Buck up. I’ll burn the whole damn world if it means saving your ass. Saving our asses.” 

V smacked his ass, the loud sound cutting through the silence of the oil field. She laughed while he jumped up, holding where her hand connected. 

“Ain’t got no ass, Johnny. Can’t save what ya don’t got.” Smirk on her face, she crossed her arms, waiting for him to start fighting her back tooth and nail. Instead, he strolled over, pulling her into a proper hug. 

“There she is! There’s my girl!”


	5. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is just dialogue. Why? Well, I had action text in this, but honestly, I think it works better as just dialogue. No dramatic revelation, just two people having a heart to heart.

“I think I’m ready.” 

“For what?”

“To go through with it all...Put an end to this shit. Finish what was started for me...For us. And if...If it means I can’t really be me anymore, well, then I’m handin’ the wheel over to you Johnny. Take good care of my body, will ya?” 

“You sure? You know I’m gonna smoke.”

“That’s alright. I got enough eddies to get my lungs replaced if ya need it. Want it all? My empire of dirt?” 

“V, any empire you leave behind is one of gold. Ain’t nothin’ that resembles dirt in you.” 

“Ha! Says you...But yeah, sure. Gold. Means it’s pretty valuable. Don’t fucking spend it all in one place.”

“Meaning I can’t blow up Arasaka Tower again? Damn shame.” 

“That’s exactly what I mean. And...don’t forget me, okay? Remember me?” 

“Living in your body? Don’t think I ever could. And even if I wasn’t...Well, you mean too much for me to forget.”

“Good. Never became a Night City Legend. Everyone else will forget, so you gotta pick up the slack.”

“Sounds good, V. Sounds good...”

…

…

…

“V?” 

“Yeah?”

“What if I don’t wanna take your body?”

“Too bad. Gotta take it. Unless someone pulls a fucking magic trick at the last minute I don’t think we have much of an option. Which...I told you. I’ve come to terms with it.”

“Don’t wanna live with a cunt, V.”

“What? You mean the organ or my face and voice? ‘Cause, hate to break it to ya, both ain’t goin’ anywhere. Even if we do make it out of this, both of us alive, I’m not going anywhere. Stuck with me.” 

“Same to you. Only friend I got. Still got a feeling that everyone I left behind still hates my guts. Can’t stand me, even after all these years.” 

“I don’t think so, Johnny. I think time healed those wounds.”

“Says you.”

…

…

…

“Johnny?” 

“Hm?” 

“I’ll miss you. I think that’s what made all this so hard...One day you’ll take over, and I won’t be able to be with you. Just a part of you. Part of the past...”

“I’ll miss you more, V. I’ll have to live with that ghost, like you’ve had to live with mine.”

“Think Arasaka will let me upload my consciousness into a Relic? I’ll find a body that looks like yours, implant myself in it.”

“Ha! Futuristic remake of Freaky Friday?” 

“Man, you make some weird fucking references. I keep telling you, I don’t know shit about what you talk about.”

“It’s a body swap movie. Used to have a crush on the main lead. I’ll try to remember her so you can see.” 

“Ooo, redhead. Nice. But yeah, remake of Freaky Friday. We can do that.” 

“That sounds fun.”

“It really does.”


	6. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the fixed ending portion. I'm just...I'm a sappy bitch who wanted some good, happy ending shit.

And in the end, V’s hard work paid off. 

All the mental anguish, suffering, and determination culminated in the best possible way. Wasn’t perfect, she never expected it to be, but it was a good enough ending. An ending that she was pleased to have. 

She still suffered. Sitting in the passenger seat of her car, she looked down to see the tremors in her hands, fingers twitching. Her legs didn’t work correctly, but she had some high tech braces for that. Her brain was healing, but it would be slow. If it ever healed completely at all. Originally, she was told six months. It’s been a year. 

There was hope. 

“Holy shit! Johnny, come on man! This is my baby, don’t hurt her! How the fuck did you forget how to drive!?” 

Johnny slammed on the brakes of the car, throwing his hands up in the air. “You try not driving for 50 plus years! Ain’t that easy! Cars have changed!” 

“Not that much! Yeesh. When I can drive again I am never, and I mean NEVER letting you behind a wheel again. Take a fucking cab if you need to go somewhere without me. Might fucking kill yourself on the road.” V sighed, leaning her head against the back of her seat. She did so a little too quickly, getting dizzy. 

Looking at Johnny, she couldn’t help but smile. 

He didn’t look exactly the same. Certain things can’t be replicated perfectly, noses being one of them, but it was good enough. A cybernetic body, prototype, a type of android that mimicked the human body. With the Relic separated from her body, V thought it fitting to implant it in something that would allow Johnny to live. Luckily, stealing another piece of Arasaka secret tech was easier the second time. Not like they’d miss it. 

Not like V or Johnny cared. 

All they wanted, all they cared about, was that things worked out. That whatever deal V struck with whatever god listened that night under the stars worked out in their favor. They were alive. Maybe not well, but they were alive. 

“Eh, you got a stick too far up your ass for your own good. I’m more likely to kill someone than get myself killed.” He shifted gears, driving again in his jerky, rambunctious style. V wasn’t sure if this was from a lack of driving or if he was always this reckless. 

“So, V. Your turn now. We’re living for you. Where do ya wanna go?”

V thought long and hard, and she couldn’t make up her mind. Sarcastically, she replied “somewhere with snow. Never seen that shit,” and Johnny furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Snow? We’re in fucking California. And you want snow?” 

“Yup. But if we can’t get snow better just head on home. Damn shame, huh?” 

Grabbing the GPS, Johnny fiddled around with it, not really rousing suspicion. He needed the GPS to walk down the fucking road, getting lost in the new streets of Night City. Apparently he didn’t pay much attention to geography while he was stuck in V’s head. 

“Heading home it is then. But we’re not staying there. You want snow, I’ll get your ass some god damn, mother fucking snow. Got it.” His finger jabbed the space near her face, V just giving him this exhausted look. 

“Shoulda kept you in my head. Much less prone to wandering around like a Nomad. Thought Night City was the only place for you?” V looked out the window, trying hard not to get carsick from Johnny’s driving. 

“Who said shit about living there? Weekend trip. Not like we gotta worry about bills and shit. No work on Monday morning like some shit eating corpo.” He was serious about this. Not sure how to take it, V just sat in silence, waiting it out, seeing where this would take her.

Surprise, surprise, when Johnny came down from the apartment, two bags packed, it was off to the closest mountain range. Said something about how the only way they might see some snow was way up high. Might not see any, but it was worth the try. V couldn’t complain too much. 

“It’s weird...not hearing what’s going on in your head. Wasn’t even that long that we were fused together, but fuck, I got so used to it. It was kinda nice...no guessing games. Now we actually gotta communicate and shit? Bonkers, man.” The sun was setting, and it made V pretty thoughtful. She heard once that people had their best conversations in the car, nowhere to really run off to during it so people talked freely. And that’s what popped into her head, the notion that she couldn’t just up and read his mind when she wanted to know what was going on. 

“What? You tellin’ me I’m not an excellent conversationalist? Hurts. Right here in my fucking heart.” He pounded his chest, quickly gripping the steering wheel again, the bumpy roads harder to drive on. There was no civilization out here. Just empty roads and emptier skies. 

“Shut up, that’s not what I mean and you know it. You tellin’ me that you don’t think about it too? That you can’t just read my mind? Doesn’t it kinda freak you out? I know it does me...” It was the uncertainty, really. Both of them talked a lot about this strange outcome where they both lived, but she didn’t think either really believed in it. A possibility that seemed so out of reach it was like asking for immortality itself. Though, that was somewhat accomplished with the Relic. 

But, when it came down to it, V couldn’t tell if he really meant all he said. About him never leaving her side. It has been a year, but she was still afraid. If he would ever get the itch to walk out and return to his old life. Teaching an old dog new tricks was pretty damn hard. Not impossible, sure, but certainly hard, and dealing with someone like her might not be worth all the trouble. 

“Sometimes. Like when you’re mad and I can’t figure out why, or when you’re in pain and I can’t feel it like I used to. It was real fucking easy to just be in your brain, know exactly what was going on. Or at least know enough. Now it feels like you’re keepin’ shit from me, even though I know for a fact you’re just terrible at expressing yourself. Guessin’ your concern is if I’m gonna just walk away from what we have, right?” 

“Something like that, yeah.” 

Shifting in the seat, Johnny took one hand off the steering wheel and used his knee to help stabilize the wheel, reaching over to hold V’s hand. She held it back, the hand still shaking like it usually did. Having it secure in Johnny’s grasp, though, made her feel so safe. Like nothing in past actually happened, and they were a normal pair going on a spontaneous road trip. 

“Then quit worrying. Got enough adventure dealing with your weird shit day in and day out. Besides, could walk to the corner store and see someone’s whole life play out before my eyes. Ain’t no need to go looking for my own trouble. Did that enough in the past. The whole goal of this was to give me a second chance, right? Not gonna throw that away. Especially not when I have you.” 

The orange from the setting sun made the gray in Johnny’s hair light up, shimmering off him. Sunglasses reflected V’s own tired face, weary smile and all. She really did love this man. 

“That means a lot, Johnny...It really does. Kinda feels weird, but I trust you with all I have. Did before, ya know, when I was gonna give you my whole...” her free hand waved over her body, “everything, but this time it feels like more of a risk. And, uh...I’ll try to talk more, make sure you know why I’m pissed off or if things aren’t right. Don’t like to, but I can do better. Promise that...” 

His hand left hers to keep driving, looking at the GPS every now and then, seeing if there was a place they could stop. If not, they were no strangers to breaking into abandoned houses, taking up residence for a tiny bit. After all, they spent some time with Panam before sorting shit out. Driving on, there was no sight of anything that resembled a motel, so they found an abandoned house and broke in. 

V still had trouble getting out of the car, balance thrown off and legs weak from sitting too long, so she had Johnny help. Leaning on him, arm draped over his shoulder and him holding her waist, they entered the small, countryside home. It was old fashioned, sure, but nice. Getting the power up and running was pretty easy, a solar powered generator hanging out in the backyard, ready to go.

“Ever think about living in a place like this? Real fucking domestic, if I say so.” 

Johnny laughed, getting out some food he packed and serving them dinner. “V, what in the hell makes you think I am anything domesticated? Living in this type of house would...” he looked around, surveying his surroundings. Before it was abandoned, the people must have loved it. Spots on the wall where pictures hung for years, discoloring the paint, and shelving everywhere. The furniture that was left was pretty nice, most people left it when they leave, and the house itself was quaint. 

“Actually, V, this wouldn’t be half bad. But I dunno if I could handle the quiet life. Could you, really?” 

V laughed, taking a warmed pack of food from Johnny. “Nah, probably would hate it after a month or two. But it’s a nice thought. Being with you makes me want these things, ya know?”

“I really do.” 

After dinner was bed, and after sleeping it was time to get back on the road. They were already on the mountain in question, only having to go up the winding roads until the road stopped. From there it was a hike. If there was snow, V was determined to make it all the way up there, weak legs and shit balance and all. They came this far, she was gonna see some snow. 

And snow she saw. They didn’t even have to leave the road, it extending towards the top of the mountain. Close to the top the ground was frosted, even closer was freshly fallen snow. She lucked out in the best way possible. No snow flurries, but there was snow. 

“Holy...shit...Johnny! Oh my god it’s like a movie! A book! Something, fuck I dunno! I don’t care! Stop the car, come on! Lemme out!” He stopped, like she commanded, and she almost leaped from the car. Stumbling a bit, she found her footing, walking out into the ice. 

“Fuck! This shit is cold!” She picked some up in her hands, throwing it into the air, hoping for some movie magic shit where the snow falls like it’s actually snowing. Instead, it landed right on her face, prompting her to scream and brush it off her, the act followed shortly by Johnny laughing so hard he had to lean on the car. 

“The fuck did you think would happen?” His boots crunched the snow, coming over to help brush her off, face wet from the melted snow. 

“Who knows. But...shit...it’s snow...It’s actually snow...” V still couldn’t believe her eyes. Everything felt too perfect, like an extremely lucid dream. If it was, she was alright with that. Whatever made her dream of a life where someone would love her enough to take her out to see some snow, all because she made a joke about, was fine with her. 

“Yeah...it is. Wish I knew you in my past life, V. The snow was better then.”

“According to you everything was better then, you nostalgic fuck.” For there to be snow there must be cold weather, and two Night City residents were not prepared for it. She had on an old Samurai jacket, and he a leather one, but they weren’t cutting it. Scrambling back to the car, the two crawled into the backseat and turned the heat on high, sitting there and looking out onto the landscape. 

“Fuck, Johnny. I never thought I’d have any of this. Damaged goods, ya know? But...shit. Thank you. For everything.” 

She shivered in the car still and Johnny pulled her close, warming her with his body. From his shaking, she was probably warming him as well. Reaching into a bad, he pulled out the blanket they used the night before, wrapping it around them. “The hell does snow have to do with you being damaged goods? And of the two of us, you’re not the damaged one.”

“Nah, got it wrong. You’re just old enough to be past your expiration date.” Sticking her tongue out, he pinched it, making her yelp. 

“Har, har. But seriously, the fuck does snow have to do with any of that?” 

“Guess I wasn’t really talking about the snow. More...everything in general.”

“If you start on that shit where you say that you don’t deserve me, I’m gonna tell you the same --” 

“No, no, I won’t do that again,” V rolled her eyes thinking of the lecture, “not about the listen to that shit again. I...I really love ya Johnny. I love everything we have. What we fought so damn hard for. I just thought it was a losing fight, like we’d never be sittin’ here, side by side, looking at fucking snow like some sappy romance novel.”

“V,” Johnny held her close, face buried in her hair.

“I love you too...Glad we fought for this.”


End file.
